Reflecting

As another year ends and a new one begins,
I think back on years past.
I think of lessons I have learned the hard way.
I think that friends that have been lost.
I think of hearts that have been broken and tears that have been cried.
I think of memories that are beginning to fade.
I think of how much I hate growing up.
I think if I had it my way, I would be a kid forever.
I think of new discoveries I have made.
I think of secrets that have been told and kept.
Bonds that have been made, some broken others sealed for the eternities.
I think of changes. Changes in hearts. Changes in opinions. Changes in me.
When I think of these things, my heart aches.
It aches for the past. It aches for “do-overs” and mistakes to be undone.
It aches to take back spiteful things
done in haste of childish behavior that somehow slipped out.
But the only word coming to my mind is Impossible.
I can’t change my past. I cant unmake the mistakes that were made.
This word ..impossible..doesn’t dull the ache but only makes it grow stronger.
And I find myself asking the age old question “Who am I?”.
But as I ponder this question, a better one comes to mind, “Who do I want to be?”
For, you see, dwelling in the past will only drag you down into a whirlpool of self doubt.
It is not our past actions that determine who you are.
It is only how you choose to live now.
And so as another year end and a new one begins,
I look forward to who I will become as a result of my actions tomorrow.

It's always fun when Gwen Comes Home!

I pretty much have the cutest family in the whole world! When i went to come home this weekend, my mom jumped on the piano and Samantha and Vince sang "I'ts always fun when Gwen Comes" (also known as "It's always fun when Grandpa Comes"). But they didnt stop there. My mom then played the song in a minor key and they sang "It's always sad when Gwen goes home". It was SOOO funny! You can go see it on Mary's blog at www.maryeclev.blogspot.com. Very cute! Thanksgiving was so great! I love spending time with the family...even if they all can kick my trash at guitar hero. I can't wait for the next two weeks to be over so i'll be done with this semester and with work and I can go home for two whole weeks!!! :)

Another big 10...

Now for 10 more things I am thankful for:
1. The fact that I am not married to a bum face boy...yet
2. The cute kids in the class i went to visit today
3. My electric blanket...it gets cold here in Logan
4. Thanksgiving dreams..I wasn't sure how to word this until Sammi posted about it. But every night this week, mashed potatoes have filled my dreams!
5. A cute dad who drove all the way up to Logan to get my cell phone to me..Love you, big guy!
6. Only having 5 more weeks at my job, woooot!!
7. The fact that every time i go home (even though it's usually only been about 2 weeks or so) My family acts like they haven't seen me in forever and is always so excited!
8. Neil Diamond...When no one else would come, Shilo you always came!!
9. Chocolate covered pretzels
10. My institute class..I feel the spirit every time I go to that class!

I am thankful for....

Well family...things are still just as boring as ever here in Logan. I would do the whole thankful thing that Mary and Sam are going but I know that I will just forget and then i'll feel bad cuz i commited to it. So instead of promising to write 3 things every day, I will just promise to add 10 things I am thankful for to every blog that I post in the month of November.
1. Being able to go to college (and mostly USU)
2. My amazing parents.. I would be nothing without them
3. My cute siblings that are pretty much the funniest people i know and my best friends
4. The fact that in a few short months..I will be Auntie Gwen! :)
5. Fall colors that are EVERYWHERE
6. Cheez-its (you laugh, but i'm serious...those things are delicious!)
7. A toasty apartment and roommates that keep me on my toes (to say the least)
8. My wonderful friends!
9. Having the internet at my fingertips to keep in contact with friends and families
10. Cute kids that make me laugh
There ya go! The big ten of this week, though it was hard to pick. I love the holiday season! Everyone is so happy! Last night, I got home from a group project at about 10:45 and had an insane craving for eggs! (well, and mashed potatoes, but eggs were easier to make). So i went to walmart and instead of hearing the usual depressing, "you're a loser for being at walmart this late a night" music, (ie: "One is the loneliest number" kinda of music) I heard happy Christmas music! It made me feel way better about going out in the cold to satisfy my egg craving. haha Well so far aggie basketball is off to a FABULOUS start! AND!!! I am happy to report that me and my friend Mike single handedly started a cheer at the spectrum that has now caught on and everyone is going it. We have a player on our team who is named "Pooh Williams". Well our head coach is named Stew...so whenever he comes out everyone goes "STTEEEEWWW!" ...so we just changed it to "POOOOOH!" for Pooh Williams and it totally took off! We are so gonna be legends, even though no on even knows we were the ones that started it. Oh Well, we have some amazing players this year and I think this is gonna be our big year! You guys should come up and visit me! We could go to Firehouse and then hit an aggie basketball game. They are usually on the weekends and that would be so fun! Let me know if you guys want to do that. I would love for you guys to come up here! Okay, well it's time to get back to work. I hope you are all doing well! Love you guys!

I got in!

Well I did it! I made my program! I start this spring. So that will be really exciting. In other news, I have a lot of big plans in mind. First of all, I have pretty much decided that I am going to China next fall. I will be going to teach children english there. It sounds so amazing. You get to live in the dorms with the little kids and teach them by just playing with them. I think it sounds like a good opportunity. So I'm gonna take a chance and go for it. Thing could always change between now and then, but that is the plan as of right now. Secondly, I am thinking of doing one of two things this next summer. I am going to audution for the Young Single Performing Missionaries opportunity in Nauvoo for next summer. It's hard to get in, so if i'm not able to get in, then I would also like to try to do one of the disney internships during the summer. I have a lot of big plans in the make. So we'll see how it goes. In funny news, I have a group project that is due tomorrow. We have to do a presentation and my group is pretty much crazy!! (which is no good since we get a group grade). There are three of us...me, another girl, and a guy. We got together to plan it the other night and i about lost my mind. The guy wants to pretty much just freak out in the backgroup and pretend like he has teretts during our whole presentation (you'd think he was joking when he said that, but no he was serious!). Guess all i can do is make sure my part is normal and hope my teacher takes pity on me. Dont think anything else is new. I am hoping to come home this weekend for fall break but I haven't decided for sure yet. Guess we will just see what happens.

And the crappy boss award goes to.....

Okay, and now the news about my job. So i got to work on Monday and there was this strange girl sitting at my desk. I also noticed that all my stuff had been cleaned off my desk. I just kinda looked at her and she was like "Oh sorry, Um Jelena isn't here if you want you use her desk. I'm new and i'm going to be sitting here now. They talked about moving you somewhere else". I was totalyl thrown off. So i went and sat at Jelena's desk and started working. Then she comes over and asks how to use the copier, and the printer, and just about every other piece of office machinary that we own! Turns out, she was doing all my work. Yes, that's right folks, they hired another girl to take over all my work. I was livid. My boss said they were planning on moving me to another desk and that she had some huge project that she wanted me to do and that is why they hired another girl to take over my work. Yeah right! I'll believe it when I see it. So next day, i got to work and put my new desk together. Yeah, not only did they kick me out of my spot and let the other chick use my computer and give her all my work, they made me put my own desk together. I am a pro though, as i just barely helped my roommate put one together. But turns out, I am all alone in the very back of the office is a turn little corner with hardly any light. Its kinda a crappy spot. And I have still yet to find out what this "huge project" is. Plus, I checked some of the new invoices that the new girl did...pretty much done all wrong and they are all gonna get sent back. Although, I am trying to be as nice as I can to her cuz it's not really her fault that my bosses kinda low-balled me. So i am stuck in the back, alone, with no project and no computer. I sure hope that I get into my program so that I can quit in january! Cuz things are starting to go downhill at the good old Distance Education Business Office!

The blog about nothing!

Well it's been about a week..and I haven't blogged. So i decided that you all needed some new reading material. The only problem is..nothing exciting has happened to me. So i guess that i'll just ramble and hope you guys dont get too bored. So the other day, me and my roomie went to Wal-Mart in the hopes of trying to find a present for my Sister-in-law cuz it was her birthday (P.S. I think that I found something that she is really gonna love!). We went over to the candy isle to pick up a little something for ourselves and what was staring me right in the face? CANDY CORN PUMPKINS! I love those little guys! And lets face it..it is really only acceptable to eat candy corn of any time during the month of october. So I promptly bought a huge tub and every time I walk past it I pop one or two in the chomper. Delicious! Next, I bought a very cute new umbrella that's lime green. However, since I bought it, it has only rained when I dont have it with me! So i decided that I would start taking it with me wherever I go so that i would get a chance to use it. Since i started carrying it with me, it hasn't rained at all! It's like the fates are against me! So yesterday, i took it out of my bag and opened it to marvel in the cuteness of it once again and forgot to put it back in my bag. So today, what does it do? It rains!! The fates are against me and my umbrella! Oh well...Last but not least (this is actually the most exciting news) I have my interview on friday morning to decide if i get into the elementary education program. YAY! I hope that it goes well. I am really nervous and it's a group interview on top of that. Wish me luck! Well i think that I have sufficently bored you all. And now I have to go to work...which is another thing...but i'll blog about that crappiness later! Thanks for reading...and goodnight!

On a more serious note....

The other day I decided to skip out on class (we were going to some weirdo play called "Alicia in wonder tierra" I guess it's like a Mexican spin on Alice in wonderland) and went to a guest lecture. I dont know how many of you have heard of Team Hoyt but it's the amazin father/son team that finished the ironman race as well as many other triathalons. The amazing part is that the son in a quadraplegic and the dad has pulled the son through all the rraces. They have a special boat that the dad pulls during the swimming part and a special seat for the biking part. It was just amazing! They were so inspirational! Their motto is to always say I Can...and never add an 't. They do about 22 triathalons a summer and the son (who cants talk or move any of his extremities) is going to college in Boston. Over the past 20 years, they have racked up so many miles in marathons that they have gone around the world about 3-4 times. CRAZY! It just really goes that show that no matter what struggles you have, you can overcome them and do great things. The son says that when he is doding these races, it feels like he doesnt even have a disability. I just thought it was amazing and I wanted to hare some of that with you. Never use your struggles or trials as a crutch. Rather, look at them as a challenge to rise above them no matter what!

The headphones that smelled like B.O.

Yes..it's true. I decided it was time to get a new pair of headphones because my ones that came with my ipod were getting kinda old and gross. So me and my roommate went to wal-mart and picked out some super cute lime green ones. I was way excited and couldn't wait to get them home. I ripped them out of the package as soon as we were home and plugged them in. Suddenly, something started to smell. Now..i'll have you know that no one had done the dishes in a few days so our kitched pretty much smelled rancid anyways because I went on strike as the maid (yeah, thanks Ann! You're great..NOT! I am currently eating pudding with a FORK!) I asked maddie if I smelled bad and she didnt think so. So i took off the headphones and the smell was gone. So I took a big whiff of the headphones and sure enough...they were the culprit! The headphones smelled SUPER bad like B.O. I double checked with other people to make sure it wasn't just me. Nope, it was everyone. The headphones stunk to high heaven. So i took them back to walmart and told the lady at customer service that the headphones smelled like B.O. and she pretty much looked at me like i was crazy but I did get my money back..thank goodness!

The ice cream liar!!!

• Oh hello, it's me again. Just thought I'd blog about an interesting experience that I had today. Well, I pretty much got hosed by a lady. So this week is homecoming week. So the school is doing tons of fun stuff. There is the game, of course. There is also like 3 different dances and movies and best of all..free food. So today, there was supposed to be free aggie ice cream in the International Lounge in the TSC. So me and my friend rushed there after class. If you have ever had aggie ice cream, you'll know why we were rushing. They have a new flavor...Aggie Blue Moose. It's like moose tracks only blue..COOL! So we get to the internation lounge and look all around and there is no ice cream, just the study abroad fair. So we are looking all around and see all these people lined up outside. dang it! So we rush outside and are talking about how it said it was supposed to be in the lounge when the lady in front of us turns around and said 'Sorry! That was my fault!" So my friend Brian says "Would you mind escorting us to the front of the line then?"...because it was HUGE at this point. She said "Sure!", took us to the front and asked us what kind we wanted. We told her Aggie Blue Moose tracks..obviously! So she said she would be right back...then we see her walking away. Yeah, she left. It was all a joke or a lie..depending on which way to choose to look at it. I was ticked. She got us way bad! The line was huge and we didnt want to wait...consequently, I am blogging in the library with an empty stomach.

Hello Friends!

Well...my page is super boring right now. But dont worry, it will get better! After much persuasion I have decided to start one of thse blog thing-a-ma-jigers. And since it's 12:19am and there is NOTHING on tv (not even Siter Wendy, for those of you who know who that dear lady is) I decide why not now. So hello all you bloggers out there...i'll post something cool soon, i promise!